It’s time to bench Eli Manning, for good. There, I said it.
Technically, I said it already, back when I declared that photo of Eli sitting in his locker and putting on his left shoe with that same mouth-breathing look he’s had on his face since he exited the womb the saddest photo of his career. But, like many Eli stans, I still figured we should give him one last shot to surprise us, to maybe go 8-8 and possibly even go one entire game without gifting the other team a turnover. Maybe with the help of Saquon Barkley and an improved offensive line, No. 10 had one more run in him. Maybe he’d prove everybody wrong one last time.
I did not watch a single snap of the Giants vs. Dallas Cowboys game last week. Not that long ago, when the Giants were good (I swear they were), I wouldn’t miss a game for anything. But last week I couldn’t be bothered. I golfed, went fishing after with a few buddies and at no point became enraged over Eli throwing another ball into the turf because there was a hint of pressure in his face. I gotta say, it was glorious.
But this week I gave them a shot. It was the Bills! No way the New York Giants could lose to the Buffalo Bills at home, home I tell you! Eli was undefeated against Buffalo, beating them all three times he’s faced them in his career, including that epic game at Ralph Wilson in the snow, Ahmad Bradshaw’s coming out party. ZERO chance the GMen were losing the home opener to the freaking Bills. ZERO.
Whoops! Not only did they lose, they were embarrassed. Just like last week, the final score of 28-14 could have and should have been much worse. Big Blue’s D made Josh Allen look like Jim Kelly. Eli was lifeless. The stadium, lifeless. Pat Shurmur, LIFELESS. Daniel Jones didn’t even play (he needs to, ASAP) and he looked LIFELESS on the sideline. To the surprise of no one, Saquon Barkley was the lone bright spot, scoring a touchdown on the opening drive but then getting bottled up the rest of the game. I feel for Saquon. He’ll never be able to truly shine in a Giant uniform. He’s going to waste his prime years on a team that might win five or six games each year if everything goes right. It’s sad. It’s depressing. It’s demoralizing. It’s another adjective I can’t come up with right now. Think of the worst one you can think of and use that.
If you can’t tell, I’m not taking it well. Going on Twitter afterward didn’t help, but I still powered through and gathered some of the best, and harshest tweets that paint the picture of where the NYG are at right now. Enjoy, I guess.